Today, May 26th 2015 is the day when I failed my major subject again.
It hurts to say this but I've failed this twice now. It seems my efforts were not enough.
I don't know what to do with my life. I'm lost, I'm hurt, I'm as down as I can be even lower than hell.
It hurts to say I'm a disappointment in our family. Everyone is such a huge success that I, the eldest among the family is the one who is such a disgrace.
Such and otaku, such a creep, such a loser. I hurts yet I try to laugh it off saying I'm all good. Everyone knows me as someone jolly. Someone that even if I fail I laugh it off. But now is different. I failed twice. It's hard for me. I know it's my fault for not putting in too much effort but it still hurts. The reason why I also have not placed much effort is because everybody compares us. I'm short, I'm weird, I'm an otaku, I'm not that sociable. Although I have friends and everyone knows me, none of them are really close to me. They only know me cuz of my smile and my jolliness and so called positivity even though inside I'm at pain.
I know I'm regretting. I really am. It's me myself who made myself like this. Life is hard. I dont know how to explain it.
I just reaallly....really want someone to comfort me. Telling me it's alright. I'm here. Someone who I can really count on. Someone I want right beside me. Someone who can help me with everything.
Someone...
Someone....
Someone save me.
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