Example #356: Bakunyuu Idol

This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers. Welcome back everyone. If you haven't been keeping up I've finally cornered Oriha who was going after me under the name of "Bombos". She's apparently a replacement from the Chessmasters who have been bothering me for quite some time (though mainly this year). We've already defeated her minions of Sonico and Hibari. : Well, to be exact Sonico didn't work out like I had hoped. Hibari betrayed me and ran off with Yagyuu. All you've done is harrass a few girls and offend people! Not on purpose! And I apologized as he did so we can just drop the issue. : Hahaha! That's why you need to be defeated! You're a menace to society and a tumor like you needs to be extracted! *cough*I can think of a few more tumors that you could stand to lose*cough*. : What was that? N-nothing! : Errrggh. Despite that Queen told me specifically not to have you blog me I MUST know what you think about my body! I can't say that you'll be happy about it. And why would "Queen" tell you not to have me blog you? : Besides the obvious, that you're a PERVERT, that your Imprint ability will cause me to see you as the male of my show. We can't have something like that happen! Didn't you just say that you wanted me to talk about you? : Don't use my words against me! Like you need a reason to talk about a curvy teen like me. Besides, it's not like I'm that close to Arashi either so I shouldn't be TOO affected... Well then, let's get this blog on the road! Head Hair: Oriha's hair is pretty bad for my tastes. Like so many other of my villains this year, she has pink twintails. They droop somewhat, looking like leaves in the manga, but her twintails are more "upright" in the anime and art. Or at least they seem to stick out more. As said before I'm not too big on twintails and less so if they're pink, and Oriha doesn't even have cute holders or anything to supplement them either. The rest of her hair is styled in a dome-like bowl cut, the sides reaching her chin. It's a bit too stiff for my liking but I do appreciate the length. She also has a large bang handing down between her eyes, though not exactly in the middle but curved in from the right side. Otherwise she shows a lot of forehead. I do appreciate the moments when Oriha puts her hair down, the main point being at the end of her "arc" of sorts and being straight I do like it a lot more. Grade: C Eyes: Oriha has somewhat tsurime eyes (though they do have some curve to them), but sadly the anime doesn't keep it. Blame Xebec. She also has eyelashes and somewhat noticeable eyebrows, the latter of which is also minimized in the anime (though it's not like she's Mugi or someone either). Her eyes are a blue color, and it seems that they're darker in the manga though I can't be too sure. What really saves Oriha from being bland and forgettable is that she does wear glasses. It's part of a disguise but there's also official art of her in them. Anyway they're a pair of thick-framed green glasses, and while the color is unusual I appreciate all types and it somewhat fits with her hair. Not extremely well, but still. Overall Saya, from HotD, she is not. Grade: B- Face: I think that Oriha has the smallest features in the cast, though it's not a big difference. Her cheeks seem softer in the anime, though that's mainly for the Kanokon-like art style. She's nice looking if a bit bland, but I will add that she's also the youngest-looking in the cast. She does have a cute smirk in one image, but another really isn't done well and she looks off-model. Overall she's not bad, but nothing too special. Grade: B : Mwahaha! I'm already beating that one girl from last week! To be fair Hibari had a particularly unfair score. I was a bit too hard on her, especially her eyes. : Too bad! You can't go back and change what has already happened! I'll have you eating those words soon... : Eh? Nah, doesn't matter. Just get back to your blog. But first... *Click. Oriha activates a few explosives. They go off around Topaz and send him flying backwards. He takes 40 damage, but brushes himself off as he staggers to his feet.* I won't go down that easily! : I see it'll take more than just simple bombs to finish YOU off! *Meanwhile, outside.* : Look! Someone is coming out of the building! *A pink haired girl in headphones runs towards the police.* :: You wouldn't believe what's happening in there! :: It sounds like there's a lot of explosions! :: Oh no! Bombos must be getting to Topaz! : Topaz... I hope you're alright in there... : Don't worry, I'm sure he's a hardy person! *The two look towards the studio. Nico pats Riri's back.* Body Build: From here Oriha starts to go downhill. From what I can tell she's supposed to be the token "loli" of the cast, being both the youngest and the shortest (at 148 cm. For comparisons sake the lead is 175 cm tall). How this fails is that the rest of her measurements are 87/53/79. As you can see she's quite a curvy loli, and by "curvy" I mean overly busty. Really, the measurements are such terrible you'd think they were from Senran Kagura or something. Not that Satou Shouji is much better, but still. I'll talk about her breasts later, but do know that the difference between her chest and hips is 7 cm. I can handle up to 5 cm so I really dislike her measurements. And she's not even the worst girl in the series either! Measurements aside she doesn't do much better either. She has some minor butt shots, including one fairly nice bare one in a hot springs, and her legs are somewhat nice. I do like the anime art style for this, it gives her a more meaty appearance (Xebec is good at that). It's still not enough to save her, but is interesting enough to add. Grade: C Breasts: As said before Oriha is pretty overly-busty. Especially for her age, and she's knowed in universe as a short and busty girl. It's because she has a lot of pin-up books, it seems. Nothing wrong with busty loli-looking girls but the series and Xebec in particular seems to focus far too much on breasts, making Oriha bounce nearly at every opportunity. And that's nothing of all the close-ups on her "tumors" either. She has pretty fair-sized nipples, at least according to the DVD version. It's sad when the broadcast version is so terrible that 90% of the screen is covered in glowing light. She also seems a big saggy in the manga, though I think that's just the artist's style. Oriha also has moments where she's hanging upside down and her chest is hanging, nearly hitting herself in the face with her cans. Oriha is also bustier than Mikoto who is a high school student. Grade: C+ Clothes: We mainly see Oriha in her Black Label outfit. It consists of a tight strapless (I think) purple dress with small yellow lines and a short skirt. She also has a brown trenchcoat that doesn't reach her knee and a belt with explosives on it and skull-and-crossbones buckle. On her legs she does have black thighhighs but some of the appeal is lost as she wears kneepads and she also wears sturdy purple boots. She also wears a hockey-like mask with a star over the right eye. Other outfits include her school uniform (which is a blue sailor uniform with a red bowtie at the collar) and a frilly idol outfit though I really didn't enjoy it (though she seems to be into fashion and current trends). In official art she's worn a yellow bikini, a really dumb medical-strip type of thing with the rest of the female cast, and a sheep costume (I like how her twintails got horns wrapped around them xD). Overall Oriha's wardrobe doesn't really appeal to me. She really needed more cosplays for that. Grade: C : GWWWWAAAHHH! *Oriha rages, throwing her hands up in the air.* What's wrong? : You're obviously taking too much from that butt-loving friend of yours. No way you'd insult my chest in such a way without him whispering in your ear. Go back and change it with your true thoughts! Didn't you just say that I can't go back and change things? : But this is the middle of the blog, you still have time to edit these things! Besides, who'd appreciate dumb flat girls! Hey, I appreciate loli characters! In fact you wouldn't look bad as a loli yourself. : Yeah right. You're just saying that so that Fiona, your precious meganekko would have huge cans like THESE! Not really. There's nothing wrong with flat adults. It would even ruin the reveal of her DFC in the final episode. : And do you really have to call them "tumors"? You're using our own words for your horrible prejudice! Actually that's from a joke that I never really brought off the ground I think. You see, your series has a lot of bath scenes. However, for the broadcast there were a lot of white light censorship. To me that made me think that the water was all radioactive and as a result all the girls obtained tumors. Though in a way that's also a cruel joke, as is the manga but that's an aside. : GWAH! Can't you go two sentences without insulting me or my series? Maybe if either was less generic I wouldn't have to. : THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GETTING THE SUPER BOMB! *Oriha throws a bigger version of her previous bomb. It explodes in front of Topaz, dealing 100 damage and sending him to hit the wall hard. A small amount of blood sprays out of his mouth.* KYAH! *He crumples to the ground, badly injured. He slowly stands up, wincing in pain. Though the bomb certainly hurt he feels his heart beating rapidly and in an evil fashion.* : I see that even a simple Super Bomb isn't enough to defeat you. I'd better bring out the big guns! No! If you take your top off I'll have to put a parental warning on the blog! : Not those guns! And shouldn't you be finishing your blog anyway, what are you doing delaying it? Bleeding! : That's no excuse! You'd better continue right this minute! *Meanwhile, outside.* : I see. So this "Bombos" character captured you and made you perform terrorist acts. And she's working for the "Chessmasters" or something? :: Exactly! : Sounds like a load of Tauros manure, if you ask me... : No no no, I've heard about these Chessmasters. They've been bothering us this whole year! : I see. And why haven't you contacted the proper authorities? : But that wouldn't be interesting and Topaz probably didn't think of it. He can be a bit of an idiot sometimes. : Idiot or not, you should have contacted SOMEONE! ???: She did! She contacted me! *A twintailed ninja appears, followed closely by another ninja with twintails though shorter ones.* : Riri ordered me to go save Topaz! : Great then, where is he? : Oops. : I knew we forgot something! : Wait, no. He was going to go defeat Bombos by himself! : What a hero. : Did you just roll your eyes. : N-no! I mean it! Topaz is a hero and certainly not an idiot! : Surrreee, you just work on that sarcasm... : (Why does everyone think I'm just sarcastic?) But glad to see two characters from Topaz's latest game appear. : I'm sure he's just playing it for the story. I hope. : Oh no! What if he uses the camera to look at my b-butt! : Don't worry! I'll cover your butt with my face to prevent that! : Just don't sniff too hard... *Elsewhere, in a secret base Aldra watches the battle. One of her minions comes up and greets her.* Maid: You're really fascinated in this "Topaz" character, aren't you? : Are you really going to question ME about being obsessed with a shota? Besides, I feel a great power about to emerge... Mind Personality: Oriha, personality-wise, has a nice base but a poor execution. She's surprisingly intelligent as she went to college at 11, though she's still childish in some ways. One such example is that she gives all the characters nicknames. She's a bit immature in general as well, apparently going off on a comment made by an announcer though I don't remember that happening (may have been manga-only). She's serious when it comes to missions though, though not completely. She's also an idol, but other than using it as a "civilian" disguise not much happens with her. Incidentally she's voiced by Amina Sato who is a graduated member of AKB48 and was Yuuka in that show (hilariously Amina's measurements are far superior than Oriha's). Sadly she doesn't have many other roles, and while she's not too bad as Oriha it's not extremely memorable. And that's the biggest problem with Oriha. She's not memorable in the least. There's so much they could have done with her. The only way her intelligence is shown is that she's able to make explosives and be the demolitions expert. We could have explored her past a bit; her parents are said to be dead and she lives in a trapped mansion, but I don't think we ever saw it and that would be cool to see! As said she's also the explosives expert, and this includes some of my favorite FPS weapons in the missile launcher, RPG, and grenade launcher. I am not good at aiming xD. There's a lot of interesting things about Oriha, but it's a shame that they used almost none of it rendering her a bland fanservice trope. Fitting for the series, I guess. Grade: C+ Libido: Oriha really doesn't show much libido. To be fair the male lead may not be responsive anyway (he's a cold person overall), but still. From what I can tell she might enjoy teasing the other girls about their love but that may be manga only. They probably had to cut a lot to fit nine volumes into ten episodes, or at least I imagine they did. Grade: C Age: Oriha is 14, making her the youngest member of the cast (or at least the ones I know about). However, her body doesn't really fit her age and thus she her points suffer as a result. Grade: C- Total Grades: 51 Average score: 5.7 Final Grade: C+ And that's the blog for this week! : Are you KIDDING me? That's one of the worst scores you've ever given anyone! It is true that it's in the bottom percentage. Unlike Joey's Rattata. But it does show what I think of you. : This is dumb! I shouldn't have been penaltized for having big breasts! I'm like one of the worst busty girls you've done! To be fair you barely beat Iria. : That's ONLY because she tried to play unfair. I'm the worst girl that has all natural boobies! Perhaps not "all" natural! : Hey! Like another pink-haired idol I have a 100% natural body! Surrreeee.... : That's it! I'm tired of you mocking me, and now that the blog is over I can use THIS! *Oriha jumps really hard, but nothing happens. Other than useless jiggling I suppose.* I don't think that's going to do anything... : You'll see about that! *She jumps a few times, and eventually a giant Bomb-omb drops from the ceiling. Unfortunately it doesn't squish Oriha.* : Good think I stole this from that Punchy-fellow! Now Topaz, prepare to meet your doom! There must be something I can do... Some ability I haven't realized until now... *Back at her base Aldra cheers on.* : Yes.. Access that demon living in you. It'll make you easier for me to track and extract for myself... Maid: Nice rhyme. : Thank you, but don't butter up to me thinking you'll get a raise. Maid: I wasn't looking for one! Well, since you're busy watching this I should get going and-whooooah! *The maid hits a cable and unplugs Aldra's screen. It goes blank and Aldra's head creaks as she turns slowly to her minion.* Maid: It wasn't my fault! Blame all these wires hanging around the path! : You should have been incorporeal! That's it, I'll punish you with spankings! Maid: Nooo! My butt will get all swollen again! *Back to Topaz and Oriha. She's holding a button and teasing pressing it with her thumb.* : Wahahaha! I'm in control once more! Now quit your blog or I'll blow us both up! If only I had something... *Topaz remembers back to about a month ago...* : Hey, have you've ever thought about using all of your Summons at one time? Like in one big attack? That's IT! : What? I have the perfect attack to defeat you now! : Eh? Just give up. It's far easier. I may have to use Complexity -1 but I'm not the laziest person around. And this will show it. *Topaz does a certain movements and aims his hand at Oriha. It glows with a lot of energy and eventually he speaks the spell's name.* KNIGHTS OF THE TOPAZ! : Eh? *A starry sphere seems to envelope Topaz and Oriha. Soon they find themselves in a cosmos. Topaz raises his hand and spreads his fingers.* : What kind of final battle is this?! Why am I suddenly in space? This is the culmination of my summoning skills. You see, instead of bringing the girls to me I brought YOU to the girls! *Over two dozen blackened shapes appear around the two of them.* : EHHH! I don't deserve a move like this! That's what you think! Now, my warriors... ATTACK! *The first girl starts to step out, revealing herself to be a half-demonic half-angel miko.* : Ufufu. Looks like I'm first. And it says a lot that Topaz thinks your show is even worse than mine... : That seems unfair! : I'll be the judge of that. In fact... JUDGEMENT BOLT! *Akeno electrifies Oriha with a thunder attack, then flies off. Another miko takes her place.* : I better get paid extra for this appearance! HOLY AURA! *Reimu flings her yin-yangs at Oriha, hitting her a couple times against the head. Oriha still stands, well as well as she can floating in space.* : Grr! This is painful but I won't fall yet! : That's fine, there's plenty left. *Reimu flies off as well, and a tall girl with a sword seems to swim up to Oriha.* : You look familiar somehow, but don't think that gets you off from my judgment. For you have broken mermaid law, and your punishment is to hear my LUNATIC VOICE! *Akeno uses her mermaid special ability to blast Oriha backwards.* : N-now it's your turn. *Akeno leaves, and a cat eared swords girl arrives.* : Hmm, wonder why she's so scared of me. Oh well, it's time for you to endure my CAT RAIN! *Himari makes a multitude of thrusts at Oriha, hitting every strike. She then sheathes her sword.* : Just be glad that I didn't use a microphone. Wait, how do I know that reference. Eh, never mind. *Himari leaps away and a red-haired flame haze arrives.* : Harumph. To be forced to dirty my blade on a cow like you would disrespect it. Instead... HELLFIRE! *Shana causes a flaming tornado around Oriha.* : AHHH! : Hopefully you've learned your lesson now. *The tornado fades out as Shana takes off on wings made of fire. Next, a girl with a lollipop and signature striped leggings backflips towards Oriha.* : Man, why do I have to follow that fiery girl? Though she does sound familiar. But enough of that, I already saved Topaz while I was in his fridge but take this-DIAMOND DUST! *Mizore summons a ton of ice shards and flings them at Oriha. While she's damaged she's fortunately not bleeding as this is all thematic. Mizore seems to disappear as stalkers usually do, and a girl in a naked apron and thong arrives. She unsheathes her sword.* : How DARE my artist favor your horrible series instead. I've come for revenge! HEALING HORN! *Saeko attacks the confused Oriha a few times with her sword.* : W-wait. “Horn”? And I don't see how that was “healing” at all. : Oh yeah, I forgot about this. *Saeko puts on a unicorn horn on her forehead, her butt jiggling as she does so.* : Now, if you excuse me I have to find a plate of lasagna and meet up with Zettai so I can ride him. *Saeko leaps away.* : I'm even more confused! ???: Ufufufu, that's fortunate. *Oriha is chilled as a yandere with a saw is standing behind her, smiling wide. She jumps away.* : You wouldn't be hurting be hurting Topaz, now would you? : N-no... : LIES! Your shows existence brings pain to him! Especially your poor measurements! : You shouldn't be the one saying that! : THAT'S IT! CHAOS WAVE!!! *Kotonoha swings her saw at Oriha's waist. The screen turns red with blood, but that's just an effect as afterward she's still in one piece. Kotonoha does seem to have disappeared and a eyepatch middle school student has taken her place. She makes a Jojo-like pose.* : Kukuku. It is now time for me to show you my power. Release now, my DEMON EYE! *Rikka takes off her eye patch and seems to shoot a laser at Oriha.* : When will this stop! : Fool, this is nothing compared to the attack I once had to endure from Topaz. But this shall be it for me, for NOW... *Rikka runs off, tripping to ruin her epic escape. That said she brushes herself off and continues running proudly.* : Where's that next girl? ???: Guess who? *Oriha gets another chill as a ghostly body presses against hers. Her eyes are also covered.* : Mwahaha. *Oriha breaks free and turns to face Yuuko. Yuuko then presses her hand against her chest and grabs something flimsy.* : GHOSTLY VEIL! *Yuuko tosses a thin sheet of plastic at Oriha. She's stunned but is able to move in no time.* : Wow, what a mild inconvenience! : I know, I sure showed you! That shall teach you not to be just about breasts! : Again I don't think you're the best one to say that... *Yuuko flies off with ghostly power and a pink-haired girl with a sword arrives.* : Fate apologizes but she'd rather not be seen after the mess that was Vivid. But you deserve more punishment, and luckily she taught me this-RUBY LIGHT! *Signum strikes Oriha with flames and electricity before flying away. After that a small puddle appears under Oriha's feet. Not like that, just plain water. However, a girl's head pops out of it.* : I'm not sure why I was chosen out of all the Negima girls, but prepare for my ultimate attack! BREACH BLAST! *Akira does a flip and splashes Oriha with a water-based attack. She then disappears as does the water to make room for a Chinese bandit-killer.* : Not sure why I'm placed here, but EARTHEN WALL! *Kan'u spins her blade super fast, hitting Oriha with it.* : ARGH! I'm not sure either, that's not even a wall! : It's a wall-OF CHINA! : Oh ha ha ha... That was a horrible joke. : I thought it was funny. But I must be going now! *Kan'u backflips away, as if leaping off the top of a building. A powerful twintail mage appears next.* : No doubt your show influenced a certain other show I'm in and made it worst! For that you pay, MAGIC SHIELD! *Rin conjures a shield of force and slams it against Oriha repeatably.* : I get it Topaz! You don't like me, but is it really worth it to beat me up this badly? : Don't worry, at most you'll go flying. *Speaking of flying, Rin goes flies off as well. A more angelic figure appears after her.* : Oh look, it's the one that Topaz doesn't like anymore. : He still enjoys me... I have not fallen but rather a new member has grown past me... But for bringing that up, ANGEL FEATHERS! *Kanade's angel-like wings shoot out a volley of feathers at Oriha. She then flies off and an older sister with a distinct look comes flying in, her maneuver gear hitting behind Oriha. She comes full force at her.* : SONIC DIVE! *Misaka doesn't even hold to say her line, flying past Oriha at great speed.* : Well, I'm surprised that Kanade didn't have that spot. But now I'm worried... ???: You deserve to be! : Hey, you look sort of like a character from my show. *A purple cure appears, her back lit up by the moon.* : I'd NEVER be associated with that horrible trainwreck you come from. Now, HOWLING MOON! *Cure Moonlight hits Oriha with the might of moonbeams.* : Gweh... All this damage is starting to rack up... *Oriha freezes in place as another magical girl in pantyhose takes Moonlight's place.* : And this is just the beginning. But for now... TRI-DISASTER! *Three types of missiles are launched at Oriha and she goes flying upward.* : Nooo faaiiirrr, I'm the explosives expert! *She starts to fall down, but instead the ground has turned into a giant Haniwa doll. She lands in the mouth and gets taunted by a person standing on the side.* : Kukuku. Don't think you're getting away with this. ABYSSAL MAW! *The haniwa crunches Oriha's body in a humorous way, dealing a lot of earth damage. After both Kiriha and the haniwa disappear, leaving Oriha floating in space. A thong-clad girl flies up to her.* : This may not be as effective since I'm not in Black Lotus form, but ALLURING EMBRACE! *Snow Black hugs Oriha, the blades on her arms dealing damage with slashing effects.* : This should teach you that middle school girls can still be sexy when they aren't busty! *She flies off, passing a ojou girl standing on a mountain or such holding her sword.* : Terrorists like you deserve only one penalty, so experience my DIVINE JUDGEMENT! *Satsuki does a spinning leap with her sword, slashing Oriha and then going for another when she lands. Satsuki then sheathes her sword.* : That may not be much, but you don't deserve any more attention from Satsuki Kiryuin! *With a hair wave that would make Homura jealous Satsuki leaves. However, another hime-cut ojou in a white outfit takes her place.* : Even my series is better than yours! Though I'd prefer if we were taken more seriously. : Well maybe you shouldn't have clothing damage as a feature? : Nonsense. All we need to do is show more butt as all men like them! And like my spirit animal we shall raise from the ashes with our asses held high! FLAMES OF REBIRTH! *Ikaruga moons her pantyhose as she slashes and summons a huge bird. It then flies at Oriha dead-on.* : You shouldn't spam Brave Bird! *A clopping noise is heard as a horse's foot is shown ominously.* : Papi is not that brave. But I am, and I shall be your opponent this time. *Centorea takes out a curved, Z-shaped sword. She then charges at Oriha.* : I'll use this move I learned from video games- ZANTETSUKEN! *Centorea splits Oriha in half again, though in a non-serious manner for effect as she's still in one piece.* : Yet again my blade cut something unworthy... *Centorea leaves and another flaming girl appears, though one much taller than Shana.* : YOU TOO? : Yes... you have hurt Topaz and as a result you must pay! MEGA FLARE! *Ayaka uses a powerful explosion on Oriha.* : How ironiiiicc! *Ayaka turns and waves for the next girl to come. A mysterious brown skinned loli appears.* : Fufufu. Topaz may not know as much about me but I know that I should defeat you! : Hey, what's with all the bad fanservice girls ganging up on ME!? : At least we have a good chapter every year or something! And now, to show you my powers... METAMORPHOSE! *Nemesis turns into a former villain, also with pink twintails.* : This is for Topaz being so against me! And for all the other poor blogs he's done! *”Chinatsu” slaps Oriha repeatably. Finally the stars in the area around the two of them go dark and the final shadow appears.* : And, as a finisher... CLEANSING!!! *Saber uses the powers of her Excalibur to finish Oriha off. She goes flying, shattering the blackness and even goes through the roof of the building.* : AAAAAHHHH!!! Team Bombos is flying awaaaaayyy!!! *Twinkle* : That must be where Topaz is! I'll go rescue him! : No, it's too dangerous! : I know, that's why I'll transform first! *Ririchiyo turns into her demon form.* : Man, it feels good to have a transformation that's not mamocentric or picking on a flat chest girl. But enough of that, I fly! *Riri leaps from place to place, eventually going in through the hole Oriha made. There, she sees the giant bomb-omb and Topaz laying on the ground unconscious.* : Oh no! *She then carries him out in a princess carry. While doing this the bomb goes off just as Ririchiyo escapes.* : That's close, I've evaded too many explosions this year... But it looks like Topaz fainted! I'd better get some help. *She looks around, eventually finding a school.* : Well, I guess that a school nurse is better than nothing. *She heads inside, Topaz still unconscious in her arms... She untransforms as she enters the school.* : Now where could that nurse's office be? ???: Right here! I'm the nurse here, so let me look at him! : Sure and-AH! *What did Ririchiyo see? Fine out next time!*